Breaking News: They're finally making it official!

Teachers Harry Murphy and Kris Wetmore are tying the knot!
By Kayla Dickinson
The flirting and best friend act was all true! Mr. Murphy and Ms. Wetmore are getting hitched! After years of being BFFs, they've decided to jump the broom.
They have generously invited ALL Co-op students to their wedding--at the Prom! Be at the Villa Bianca in Seymour at 8 p.m. on May 26. They've asked all underclassmen to either pay $50 or wear a Co-op t-shirt or hoodie. (You can buy a hoodie for the Wedding Sale Price of $25. Contact Mr. Laub.)
"We're going to raise hundreds of dollars for the senior class this way! Thanks Mr. Murphy and Ms. Wetmore!" Said Mr. Laub.
But some seniors were outraged at the news.
Viki Bultron said, "This isn't fair. We've been waiting 4 years to have our prom. We don't need a bunch of immature freshmen and old people there. No offense."
A couple of procrastinators found a good way to ruin our prom!" stated Theresa Bell as she stormed off to tell the Prom Committee.
When asked how she felt, Ms. McVey said, "No comment."
The flirting and best friend act was all true! Mr. Murphy and Ms. Wetmore are getting hitched! After years of being BFFs, they've decided to jump the broom.
They have generously invited ALL Co-op students to their wedding--at the Prom! Be at the Villa Bianca in Seymour at 8 p.m. on May 26. They've asked all underclassmen to either pay $50 or wear a Co-op t-shirt or hoodie. (You can buy a hoodie for the Wedding Sale Price of $25. Contact Mr. Laub.)
"We're going to raise hundreds of dollars for the senior class this way! Thanks Mr. Murphy and Ms. Wetmore!" Said Mr. Laub.
But some seniors were outraged at the news.
Viki Bultron said, "This isn't fair. We've been waiting 4 years to have our prom. We don't need a bunch of immature freshmen and old people there. No offense."
A couple of procrastinators found a good way to ruin our prom!" stated Theresa Bell as she stormed off to tell the Prom Committee.
When asked how she felt, Ms. McVey said, "No comment."
School Lunch Tables Will Now Be Assigned!By Franchesca Ceballos
Due to the recent immature activity in the bathrooms, the administration has decided to get active in hopes of finally enforcing positive change. Since they cant pinpoint who exactly the perp ruining the bathrooms is, all students will have to pay a price. Lunch tables will be assigned in aplhabetical order by student last names. No word on whether the new rules for seating will be permanent, but the plan will continue for the rest of this school year at least. Hope you enjoy sitting with your new lunch mates! |
Mr Grady Realizes He's Creative Writing TeacherBy Ian Hebert
Many students know Co-op’s resident Speculative Fiction expert, Mr. Grady, who has taught at the school for the past five years. His manipulation of students’ minds and unique perspective on writing and the world altogether is not something easily forgotten. But on March 15th of this year, the creative writing teacher shocked sophomore student and Online Magazine staff member Ian Hebert with the incredulous statement, “I’m a Creative Writing Teacher? I thought I was teaching the philosophy of anarchy.” Upon confirmation of his status as a writing teacher, Mr. Grady fled the premises, muttering about perception and the world of illusion. He is now back at his post after taking a personal day to settle his nerves. He is undergoing therapy to minimize psychological damage from the realization that he had been teaching the wrong material for half a decade. In a brief statement to the press, he said, “I had no idea that I was teaching Creative Writing. I just did my best to help the young people in front of me every day with their projects, while trying to educate them on the philosophy of anarchy in the process. I feel that I have been inexcusably wronged by the Board of Education, and somebody will be hearing from my lawyer.” |
Celebrate PBJ Day at Co-op!
By Deni Cifuentes
Everyone remembers peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, right? You mess around with a thick cream that splits your soft bread in half and then smother it with slippery sweetness that mom freaks out over when it gets spilled onto your brand new church clothes. Oh, and don’t forget how you always used to beg to have the crust removed!
Does anyone know where these simple taste-bud-dance-starters began, though? Well, it all started way back during the times of World War II. These child attractors were actually created by the men in the war.
Now let us get onto the actual holiday. Yes, these scrumptious sugar-rush-waiting-to-happen sandwiches have the entire second day of April dedicated to them! Now we know it’s a holiday; the question is why? Well, Welch claims that it's their doing, since their jam came out before Skippy’s peanut butter (way to toot your own horn Welch). Who really knows who started the holiday? All I know is that it’s here, so we may as well not let it go to waste!
Do you want to know how to celebrate this amazingly random day of the year? Well, obviously, you can make a sandwich and eat it, but here are a few more creative ways to celebrate:
♥ Make these sandwiches and share them with your friends. Spread the love, one sweet thing at a time!
♥ Put salt in your sandwich and give it to them as a prank! (After all, this is the day after April Fools Day!)
♥ If you’re a brunette, add some purple into your hair and show off your spirit!
♥ Get a cute peanut butter and jelly shirt that says “We’re made for each other” and give it to someone you love!
♥Skip around all day and use the excuse that you are supporting Skippy’s peanut butter!
♥Well I’m not going to give you every idea! Make up some of your own!
Warning: Do not actually bring in peanut butter to school unless you want someone to have an extreme allergic reaction.
Note: If you do want to bring peanut butter into the school, you’ll have to pay $2 for it (Like Hat Day).
Another Note: Students with nut allergies will all have to sit in the library during their lunch waves to stay safe.
Everyone remembers peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, right? You mess around with a thick cream that splits your soft bread in half and then smother it with slippery sweetness that mom freaks out over when it gets spilled onto your brand new church clothes. Oh, and don’t forget how you always used to beg to have the crust removed!
Does anyone know where these simple taste-bud-dance-starters began, though? Well, it all started way back during the times of World War II. These child attractors were actually created by the men in the war.
Now let us get onto the actual holiday. Yes, these scrumptious sugar-rush-waiting-to-happen sandwiches have the entire second day of April dedicated to them! Now we know it’s a holiday; the question is why? Well, Welch claims that it's their doing, since their jam came out before Skippy’s peanut butter (way to toot your own horn Welch). Who really knows who started the holiday? All I know is that it’s here, so we may as well not let it go to waste!
Do you want to know how to celebrate this amazingly random day of the year? Well, obviously, you can make a sandwich and eat it, but here are a few more creative ways to celebrate:
♥ Make these sandwiches and share them with your friends. Spread the love, one sweet thing at a time!
♥ Put salt in your sandwich and give it to them as a prank! (After all, this is the day after April Fools Day!)
♥ If you’re a brunette, add some purple into your hair and show off your spirit!
♥ Get a cute peanut butter and jelly shirt that says “We’re made for each other” and give it to someone you love!
♥Skip around all day and use the excuse that you are supporting Skippy’s peanut butter!
♥Well I’m not going to give you every idea! Make up some of your own!
Warning: Do not actually bring in peanut butter to school unless you want someone to have an extreme allergic reaction.
Note: If you do want to bring peanut butter into the school, you’ll have to pay $2 for it (Like Hat Day).
Another Note: Students with nut allergies will all have to sit in the library during their lunch waves to stay safe.
New Boost to SecurityBy Franchesca Ceballos
Since a student tripped down the main staircase and broke both legs while he was “messing around” with friends, the Board of Education has hired 10 new security guards to Co-op to insure student safety. Starting Monday, April 4, there will be 10 new security guards keeping kids and teachers safe. There will be guards in the cafeteria, classrooms, hallways, teacher’s offices, even bathrooms. They will walk students to buses and classrooms, and there will be assigned seating for everyone, including teachers! Spring Weather WatchBy Lisa M.
Hernandez
It’s spring and there’s already “bad weather.” Today is just the start. Tomorrow starts a weekend of severe weather. Monday will be the worst and the Board of Education is already preparing to close New Haven Public Schools. So get your sleds ready for one last snow day. New Electronics RulesBy Jonah Gimbel
The Superintendent just announced that because kids text too much during class that all electronics that are brought in will be confiscated upon entry into school and returned to you at the end of the day. “I am glad that they finally did this, I got tired of confiscating so many kids’ phones and i-pods also I feel bad taking them,” said Ms. Daniels. The students, however, have quite the opposite reaction, “I do not want them to do this, this is taking away the rights we have as citizens, I need my phone. I need it. I need it I tell you!" With this new rule in place, if kids manage to smuggle phones in (I am not listing ways to do this) the phones will be confiscated and not returned until the end of the school year. |
What's Up With the Bathrooms Closing?By Eric Otfinoski
Lately, bathrooms on multiple floors of the school have been closed down for repairs. Why? When asked, Warren looked worried and said, “No comment.” The true reason for these closings was recently caught on tape by a traumatized student. Please everyone: Whatever you do, do not go to the bathroom alone! Party for the Freshmen!By Franchesca Ceballos
Attention all Freshmen! Co-op will have a party on June 15, 2011 at 3:30 for only Freshmen! "You guys earned it, and you guys deserve it. This year has been a tough one," said Dr. Garcia. "We will be serving food and drinks. There will be an awesome DJ. I hope you guys are excited." In order to have this party we need money. So, we have decided to have a "fun raiser." If anyone has any ideas come to the MAIN OFFICE and talk to Miss Anna; she'll be waiting. Suspension Rule ChangeBy Franchesca Ceballos
New News: If you miss more than 10 days of school, don’t bother showing up. You will get sent home right away and suspended for one week! A school official said: “We can’t afford people not showing up in school. Do you know how many snow days we have had? We have had 8. Students have missed enough school. They can’t afford to miss any more." |
"GOO-BING?"By Ashley Moran
Big fan of Google? Did you know that Bing has the same amount of people using its search engine. Now imagine Google and Bing becoming one huge search engine: www/bingoole.com. After a long time feud, the two companies have resolved their issues and come together to form a super search engine! Bingoole will be faster than Google Chrome, bigger than the first car, and will be written down in history. Fun Fact: Since the grand opening of the website the most-searched entry is “how to write a love song.” |
$10,000 Arts ContestBy Ashley Moran
Listen to this! Co-op finally is getting its first-ever fully funded talent show with a huge prize of $10,000 awarded to the best performer(s). The award must be donated to the performers' art department and can be used to purchase supplies, props and/or trips! Dr. Garcia was awarded this arts grant from the nonprofit group Art and Youth Together at Last whose mission is to promote the ways that art enhances the lives of young people. Co-op received this grant due to the dedication that our school has shown to the arts. You will have until June 3, 2011, to sign up and audition your act for the show. |
Electronics These Days
By Franchesca Ceballos
Computers take too much energy, and the world isn’t getting better by having them around. That’s what school administrators say. Starting next year, most of New Haven’s school computers are going to be disabled. Local politicians say that schools just can’t afford the upkeep, repairs, and upgrades anymore.
“They can use paper like we did in the old days,” said a spokesperson from the Board of Education.
Computers take too much energy, and the world isn’t getting better by having them around. That’s what school administrators say. Starting next year, most of New Haven’s school computers are going to be disabled. Local politicians say that schools just can’t afford the upkeep, repairs, and upgrades anymore.
“They can use paper like we did in the old days,” said a spokesperson from the Board of Education.
We're Moving...Again.
By Franchesca Ceballos and
Lisa Hernandez
Next year Co-op is moving to a NEW building once again. The downtown location has turned out to not be as ideal as architects first thought. The biggest complaint is lack of parking. At this time, there are no vacant school buildings in New Haven, so Co-op might move temporarily to East Haven or West Haven. There will be a public hearing on this matter in June.
Lisa Hernandez
Next year Co-op is moving to a NEW building once again. The downtown location has turned out to not be as ideal as architects first thought. The biggest complaint is lack of parking. At this time, there are no vacant school buildings in New Haven, so Co-op might move temporarily to East Haven or West Haven. There will be a public hearing on this matter in June.
"No Boys Allowed!"
By Franchesca Ceballos
Attention all Co-op students. The New Haven Board of Education has proposed that Co-op become an all girl school by the year 2015. City surveys have shown that more girls are interested in the arts. There is a also a strong body of research that proves that girls and boys do better academically and socially when they are separated during the school day. Since two thirds of Co-op students are girls already, the city decided to start with us.
Of course, people have mixed feelings. Freshman Ashley Moran stated, “School is school; it’s not the time to be socializing 24/7. You have to do what you have to do. Girls and boys get distracted by each other so easily, and it’s sad. Most students are always late to their classes and they don’t even care.”
District officials state: “Students are better off separated for a while, just to see how it goes. We are doing what’s best for our students.”
Attention all Co-op students. The New Haven Board of Education has proposed that Co-op become an all girl school by the year 2015. City surveys have shown that more girls are interested in the arts. There is a also a strong body of research that proves that girls and boys do better academically and socially when they are separated during the school day. Since two thirds of Co-op students are girls already, the city decided to start with us.
Of course, people have mixed feelings. Freshman Ashley Moran stated, “School is school; it’s not the time to be socializing 24/7. You have to do what you have to do. Girls and boys get distracted by each other so easily, and it’s sad. Most students are always late to their classes and they don’t even care.”
District officials state: “Students are better off separated for a while, just to see how it goes. We are doing what’s best for our students.”
Poem: The Day of the Game
By Lisa
Hernandez
Today is a day where no one is safe
Today the children play and joke around
They plan to prank and plan to laugh
You’re surely in for a bit of a draft
Prepare for a day with eggs on your car and glue on your seat.
Your lunches won’t taste nice and dandy
Because your food will be filled with fake meat
And no one will be of any sort of “handy”
Today is a day where no one is safe
The children will play and joke around
Please try to keep your feet on the ground
Don’t jump, don’t play, don’t swing, don’t lay
Watch your surroundings because someone,
Somewhere is planning a prank to play on you
Don’t be confused; don’t feel scared, here is the issue
I will surely tell you
Today is a day where no one is safe
Today the children play and joke around.
Tickle your belly and roll on the ground,
Because today is for fun all around.
Today is the day the pranksters come out to play.
If you rather join in with the games
Be aware that pain should not be your aim.
Have fun because tomorrow this will all be done.
Today is a day where no one is safe
Today the children play and joke around
If you haven’t gotten a clue,
Today is April fool’s day.
Today is a day where no one is safe
Today the children play and joke around
They plan to prank and plan to laugh
You’re surely in for a bit of a draft
Prepare for a day with eggs on your car and glue on your seat.
Your lunches won’t taste nice and dandy
Because your food will be filled with fake meat
And no one will be of any sort of “handy”
Today is a day where no one is safe
The children will play and joke around
Please try to keep your feet on the ground
Don’t jump, don’t play, don’t swing, don’t lay
Watch your surroundings because someone,
Somewhere is planning a prank to play on you
Don’t be confused; don’t feel scared, here is the issue
I will surely tell you
Today is a day where no one is safe
Today the children play and joke around.
Tickle your belly and roll on the ground,
Because today is for fun all around.
Today is the day the pranksters come out to play.
If you rather join in with the games
Be aware that pain should not be your aim.
Have fun because tomorrow this will all be done.
Today is a day where no one is safe
Today the children play and joke around
If you haven’t gotten a clue,
Today is April fool’s day.