Creative Nonfiction, Poetry, Fiction
Baby Girl
Daniella Ruiz (3/18) Baby girl, In the month of January, I noticed I didn't get my period since the first week of December. Normally my period is late by a week or two so I didn't think anything of it. But after not getting anything after a month, I started to get suspicious as well as morning sickness, which never happens to me. I knew lots of symptoms of pregnancy and because I was experiencing some of them I started to worry because your father, Jalen, and I had only had sex once and that time we made sure we were protected. My mom and I always talked about the other girls who would get pregnant and would have an abortion but we never thought, in a million years, that it would be me. My mom and dad never thought it would be their little girl. And I never thought I'd be going through this. The procedure was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It was a hard decision to make, but I knew it was something I had to go through personally because my family just couldn't afford another child to take in and your dad and I were both really young. He did support my decision and stuck with me through the whole process. We both regret that we couldn't experience your first words or your first few steps and all of the other precious moments of your life, but we just wanted to let you know that we are always thinking of you. So we are writing this to you today because its September 1st and you would have been one year old. With the mixture of sweet and sour emotions your dad and I are going through, we just wanted to let you know that you did help us get stronger as individuals. We love you so much. Happy birthday angel baby. Mom and Dad Piano Lover By Aaliyah Pallet (3/18) I sat on the rectangular, brown chair, looking down at a black and white piano. I discovered this secluded, small place where they give out $20 lessons for the piano and the guitar, then they have open mic on Thursdays, inviting anybody inside to just play any instrument. Once I came inside, random strangers were already jamming out playing the drums, keyboard, guitar, and even someone was dancing and singing. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t been to this place, passing it while I went to Shake Shack or never noticing it while on the bus. I was easily pleased with the scenery as well. There were a variety of lights hanging up on the small, circular stage. A spotlight shone on the person performing, the classic piano was in the middle of the room with instruments hanging on the walls, and even the bathroom was decorated with a light that changed colors. See, I didn’t know how to play any instrument at all. One time i tried to play the flute, but i got so light headed. That led to me passing out while I looked like a tomato from the lack of oxygen and I gave up on instruments all together. I just always felt drawn toward the piano. The piano, to me, is one of the most beautiful sounding instruments. I could cry just listening to a person just play one chord because of how breathtaking it is. It makes me sad knowing I have to drive my attention towards school but I always seem to have a roadblock when it comes to a piano and me, wanted to learn and try something new instead of doing the same things all the time. After discovering this place, I started going more and I also started playing with the piano and trying to learn songs by just pressing the keys and finding out the order myself, but I forgot all the letters that are connected to the certain keys. This lady came up to me, asking me to play a certain key for her so she could tune her violin, I was baffled because I didn’t know anything at the time. The lady placed her finger down on one of the C keys, telling me what it was, then she told me all the rest. To say that didn’t help me in any way, is such a lie, and I still remember it till this day and thank her for offering her time. I took out my phone and looked through my notes, I noticed so many songs and little poems I typed up and wanted to create something special, for me only. I started coming up with the melody on the piano for one of my songs, using two or three fingers to create my own chords. A smile appeared on my face when I created something beautiful with my own hands without looking at any directions or following someone’s lessons. Just creating something on the piano that sounded good to me when I was so distant from instruments because of lack of time due to personal problems with school and life in general led to my greater love towards pianos. And that's what I love. |
Life In a day
Lismary Lopez 3/18 For the past 3 years my alarm was Timo “My nephew” Six on the dot, crying because he wanted his bottle His mother drowning in her sleep Working double shift, going to college and watching him That’s a lot to juggle Seeing her win a full scholarship to college and wondering if she's capable of going She moved February 05, 2018 I didn't speak to her I hated her For at least 3 days I hated how she just took Timo Without worrying about the emotional damage she caused Breaking everyone's heart I was the one who watched him the whole summer Three in the afternoon till one in the morning I was the one who taught him how to say “happy” “hungry” “apple” I was there when he took his first step How I had to rock him to sleep with his little Mickey Mouse How he wouldn’t sleep with her on her days off If she wasn't at work she was at school They say that having a child at a early age is the worst mistake you can make A child is not a mistake, it's a blessing Then again, you all have your own opinion I believe that if you're old enough to conceive a baby You should be grown enough to keep your child, support them We all knew that she was trying her best To go to school and support her child She wasn't bad at it All I did for the past 3 years was put my social life on hold Going to school in the morning Getting out around 3pm, straight to the daycare No time for friends or any type of hangouts Picking him up at the daycare Him running towards me With his little arms open And from then till one in the morning When I started high school, he was still my alarm But no more daycare Since I get home at 2:30 But I still watched him in the afternoon Now, he has been taken away from me Now, I don't have an alarm Now, my day begins when my eyes open No more six on the dot When my eyes open I don't hear him crying I hear my mom making breakfast Her footsteps Reminding me to lock the door when I leave Now, I get home To silence To an empty house To no toys on the floor To a house of darkness To a house of broken hearts Together we stand
Eliza Vargas I am… Strong and independent. I will be heard as I shout my oppression into the void that is filled with unheard voices. She is… Brave-hearted and innovative. She will hold her head high as she walks through the valley, clouded by the silenced souls of the past, ready to take the future by storm. We are… Standing together united as one. Crowns up high with the past at our backs, we walk forward into the light of a new day with our new ideas, roaring through the void filled with unheard voices from the women of our past. My Nana Kiara McCray 3/18 My Nana. Kinnie Wilson. The woman I’m named after. My Nana is pretty, intelligent, generous, and unselfish. She takes cares of her family before she takes of herself. But, my Nana also gets tired, Tired of trying to be pretty. Tired of being generous with little to give. Tired of taking care of her family because they don't take care of her. My Nana acts like she didn't receive the family she deserves. Two sons and an older daughter With five grandchildren that she didn't envision Including me. The one that feels that I disappoint Nana the most. The one who is always eating more than she should. The one that needs to lose weight to satisfy her. The one that can't fit into anything that she sends. I'm the one who isn't pretty. The one who isn't intelligent. The one who isn't generous because she likes saving. The one that doesn't volunteer to take care of her. I'm the one who shouldn't be called granddaughter. How I Love
Benie N'sumbu 3/18 I can’t say I love you because my throat clogs every time the words touch the tip of my tongue. But what I can do is laugh way too hard at your jokes no matter how awful they might be. I can’t say I love you because my heart races and my palms sweat when I think of the meaning behind it. But what I can do is tell you everything that is on my mind even if it is too much information. I can’t say I love you because my lips aren’t used to putting those three little words together. But what I can do is take ridiculous videos and photos of you and save them for days when I need a good laugh. I can’t say I love you at the end of a phone call or as we begin to part ways. But what I can do is reply to your texts immediately without fail. I can’t say I love you because I didn’t hear it growing up. But what I can do is share my food with you and only you. I can’t say I love you because it is as foreign to me as Latin. But what I can do is listen to you ramble about your favorite celebrity or rant about your parents. I can’t say I love you despite how normal it is in our society. But what I can do is let you in on my craziest, deepest secrets. I can’t say I love you because of how affectionate it feels and I’m not used to receiving or giving affection. But what I can do is defend you when I hear someone talking about you. I can’t say I love you even when I know I do because I’m afraid to give you the power of knowing how much you mean to me. But what I can do is give you hugs because you’re the only person I feel comfortable around enough to do that. I can’t say I love you even though I do. But what I can do is support your ideas and dreams and even lend a hand in helping you achieve your goals. All I can do love you in my own special way. Drifting Away Jai'Dyn Johnson 3/18 People don't see when others are hurt. They still won't help when they know what’s wrong. They will literally look right through you. Balloons drift away when nothing is holding them. People drift away when they are hurt, sad, and feeling mentally drained. People will claim they are here for you and say nice things at the right moments. But when things go left, where are they? Gone! I'm like the balloon-- when I'm not feeling a good vibe I’ll leave. When I’m hurt I drift away from everything. Changed Ileanie Mercado (3/18) I am awake I open my eyes to see the sun shining its warmth on me like the first time I can hear the birds chirping softly through the forest I can smell the burnt wood dying down as the flames flicker away Sending paper ashes through the air I’m lighter My body feels like it’s floating There’s no blood running through my veins I’m different. I’ve changed, but how? My feet walk through the soil as they start to weaken beneath me I taste the sweetness from the berries I was given...given? Who gave them to me? My feet stops; I am no longer walking But standing...just standing why? Viewing my surroundings carefully The atmosphere feels different, safe, lonely I come across a pond and stare at my reflection I close my eyes and reopen them I see you, I see me Dirt, leaves, sweat. I can’t feel the sweat on my face My body and face covered in dirt and blood...my blood My hands are cold They look faded, almost see through I see shoes; I walk towards them I freeze I see the body, I see me But there’s someone next to me I don’t know who he is? But I know one thing for sure He killed me and I’m dead Feeling Ileanie Mercado 2/18 Wondering why there isn’t a smile on your face Crying all alone, tears running down your face Thinking crazy thoughts, make them go away you say You just want to disappear like a ghost scaring you away You’re lost, hoping for a way to be found Your hearts still beats, but it's slowly bleeding You've been let down too many times to count Biting your tongue, still no sound comes out So inside you’re screaming Still fighting your demons Hoping to be heard, yet no one seems to notice Tell me, why doesn't home feel like home? Wild thoughts pass through your brain Covering your ears, you’re slowly drifting away Screaming and yelling slowly driving you insane But tell me, what do you think? You say “The truth deserves a response But even lies have their meaning Love is a blessing and Hate is a broken feeling.” Age Formative Jaidyn Johnson 1/18 TEN When I was ten I was scared of the dark. When I was ten I got my first bladder infection. When I was ten I took a trip to Virginia. When I was ten I went to King’s Dominion for the first time. When I was ten my mother uploaded a video on YouTube of my brother and I dancing. When I was ten I went to Long Horn restaurant. When I was ten I got my first adult menu. When I was ten I failed my first reading test. When I was ten I dropped my food in the cafeteria on purpose because it looked nasty. When I was ten I did drill team, and I marched in the Juneteenth parade. ELEVEN When I was eleven I got suspended. When I was eleven I got a lot of write-ups. When I was eleven I lost my uncle Jamie. When I was eleven I took the biggest loss of my life; both of my uncles and my aunt left me. When I was eleven my family became distant. When I was eleven I got my first acrylic nails done. When I was eleven I threatened a to punch a girl her in the face if she kept bothering my cousin. When I was eleven I got a “Stay back” scare. When I was eleven I got my iPhone 5c fixed. TWELVE When I was twelve I stopped caring about school. When I was twelve I started being of a worse student than what I already was. When I was twelve I got a D in science. When I was twelve I started dancing for The Debutante. When I was twelve a boy had a seizure in my class. When I was twelve, my birthday. I thought I was ugly. When I was twelve I turned thirteen. THIRTEEN When I was thirteen I got into so much drama with my 8th grade “gang.” When I was thirteen I had a meeting with everyone who was involved in the issue. When I was thirteen I lost my best friend due to the fact of that drama. When I was thirteen I had graduation practice every day. When I was thirteen I continued dancing. When I was thirteen, on June 19, 2015, I walked across that stage. When I was thirteen I gained a new milestone. FOURTEEN When I was fourteen I started at Cooperative Arts and Humanities High School. When I was fourteen I gained some new friends. When I was fourteen I took a class that I hated. When I was fourteen I started thinking about my brother passing a lot more than I thought I would. When I was fourteen I met my “brother” Kevin Vick. When I was fourteen my grades started looking great! FIFTEEN When I was fifteen, I cut my hair short to 11 inches. When I was fifteen, I made some great friends, lost some friends, and I still managed to become the intelligent person I am today. Now that I’m fifteen I have gained the knowledge that everyone isn’t going be here for you like they claim they will. People nowadays are so temporary it’s ridiculous. But I know what’s right/wrong and what group of friends to hang out with and the ones to stay away from. When I was fifteen I got my first tattoo (right before my sixteenth birthday.) When I was fifteen I became infatuated with myself. SIXTEEN Now that I’m sixteen, my hair has grown almost 4 inches. I had some issues with getting my grades up, but I did it. Now that I’m sixteen I lost some toxic people in my life, because I started to see the changes in myself. Now that I’m sixteen my body is changing and I’m liking the changes I’m seeing, because when I was twelve I thought I was ugly. Now that I’m sixteen, I have started to realized my worth. I’m starting to appreciate the people I have in my life. Now that i’m sixteen I’m still finding myself, but I know what I want to be. Dear Love, Another Valentine’s Day spent alone. But it’s okay. I guess… I mean, I’m fine with being single. I know that when you want to come into my life you will. Maybe it’s just not the time for you to come bless my life with a wonderful person who cares for me. But it still hurts. It hurts to know that I’m not worthy of having you. And I’m not going to lie, sometimes I believe that I might never find you. I’ve also lost you in so many different ways already that I’m getting tired. I want you, but I don’t all at the same time. I know, right. I start this letter off telling you that I want you in my life and then I go off saying that I’m not sure I even want you at all. But you have to understand, you can either make me or break me and I don’t think I’m ready to take that risk. I’m already so beaten up and broken I don’t think I could take another beating from you. You have been unfair with me all of my life. You took something so important away from me. Why can’t my father love me. Why can’t you allow him to care for me even if it’s just the slightest bit? I mean, I guess it’s not really that important since I have a father who does love me. But it still hurts to know that your biological father, the one whose DNA is running through your veins, doesn’t care for you like a father should. You can tell I’m still bitter about it. I don’t think there will ever be a day when I’m not upset about it. I’ve lost all hope when it comes to this situation and I’ve decided to stop trying to have a relationship with him. I guess it’s too late for you to make an appearance, so don’t bother. Gosh, I’m really scatterbrained. I tell you to do something and then I contradict myself later on. Forgive me for being so indecisive, but when it comes to you I’m not sure what I want to do. You can add so much to my life, but you can also take so much and I’m not sure if I want to go through that. Wow, now I’m just repeating myself. It’s so hard to put these feelings into words. It’s like trying to explain the meaning of life. It’s impossible for me to explain why I want and don’t want you in my life. Please understand. For me, making this decision is as hard as deciding if I wanted my father in my life and we know how that ended. But, how are you going to know you weren’t there. I guess this is all I have to say. No, I know I have more to say; I just don’t know how to word it so this will have to suffice for now. I’ll find the words to explain myself one day. Maybe. Sincerely, A lost soul searching for an answer |
Perfectly Imperfect
Name Withheld 2/18 I am not perfect But show me the perfect person As I carry myself the way I do You judge whether I'm good or bad Whether you know me or not You only see what I choose to show you Judge tenderly - of me As I mask my emotions with a smile Forgive me if that bothers you I will not apologize for what makes me comfortable You do things your way, and I do them my way Judge tenderly - of me I'm a sinner Just like everybody else But I am not everybody else I make mistakes I learn from them And I as grow and mature I will still be perfectly imperfect Judge tenderly - of me Reality Jamiah A. Green 12/17 Your parents yelled at you for something you wasn’t supposed to do And you say your life is hard? Don’t tell me that type of news You got kids who sit here and suffer every day from abuse Don’t got no food on the table Only got one pair of shoes Neighborhoods where you can turn the corner and somebody just got shot Every five seconds of the day Somebody laying dead on the block Families who just lost everything and now living in the streets Trying to scoop up some change Just to get something to eat Kids who get bullied because haters can’t reach their level Haters who can’t do good Because they always listening to the devil Parents who cry at night because their child went missing And after five years of looking Received news that they wasn’t living So me being a friend, I’m telling you your life is not hard You have things others don’t have Along with dreams and goals that can take you far You could wake up in the morning feeling happy and sweet Have a table full of food A fresh pair of Jordans on your feet You could have money and a nice place to stay Doing good And every night you're on your knees and you pray I would continue with the list but I think you got the message And I hope That when you listened it had taught you a lesson So again, your parents yelled at you for something you wasn’t supposed to do And you say your life is hard Don’t tell me that type of news What you need to do is take a seat and snap back to reality And just think “How would I feel if I was in this tragedy?” The Years Jai’Dyn Johnson 2016 I wasn't always the prettiest nor the best person. I wasn’t really that student to get high honors every marking period. I’m trying my hardest to be the best I can be. I told myself freshman year "This is the only year I'm gonna mess up on and that’s it." Once first and second marking period of sophomore year came it was a breeze, but I was doing fine. Third marking period came and I started slacking really bad. The start of fourth marking period came and I was doing somewhat ok. I won't be labeled as a letter nor a GPA score. I’m me & I'm going to keep pushing for great. 2017 Junior year has approached I feel like this will be a great year. I got honors for the first time in 9 years. I got no help from anybody. The only help I got was “Don’t mess around this year. It's most important.” I had to find that out for myself. And I had to want better grades for myself. My GPA is a 2.55 Those three numbers don’t make me feel smarter And they sure don’t define me I am me. You Must Know… Erica Cardona 12/17 Before you dream of me tonight You must know that I’m damaged. For I see vibrant shades in your colorless world I’d not want you to run into my arms with closed eyes You must know that I’m shattered. I push boundaries and question all, while you follow blindly at their beck and call; You must know that I’m broken. And not the kind of broken you can fix; the type of broken you must learn from My age of sufferance has ended, moving forward and creating a balanced beginning but you stand still. You must know that I’m crushed and demolished, And I yield the power to break you out from your comfortable world Before you dream of me tonight… you must know that I’m damaged. *Lighter* 9-15-17 By Erica Cardona 12/17 Dear Diary, Nevertheless, my soul aches for you. Your grand design only signifies the turning of another page. As one sun sets a moon is born cradled in stars. In a pure form of love another petal falls I see through the haze… your silhouette. Ever so present is the presence of life you emit. My soul still aches for you… Connection Failed Daniella Ruiz 12/17 You received anonymous letters accompanied by flowers And thoughtful text messages every couple of hours. All the doors were held open for you, A simple gesture you weren't used to. Yes, these gestures are special But it caused him to wrestle with his daily schedule. The flowers began to fade away, No more texts sent throughout the day, And the doors were left shut blocking your walkway. All the actions he took at the start Led him to winning your heart. But he began to slowly depart And he lost his work of art. I Am Fine But I Am Broken
Brookelyn Hazelwood 11/30 I am fine But I was crying myself to sleep last night. I am fine But I spend my days wondering what I did so wrong. I am fine But I constantly ask myself “why?” I am fine But I break down and cry silently when no one is looking. I am fine Because I said so. I am fine But am I really? I am broken But I hide the fact that I cry myself to sleep. I am broken But I spend my days putting on an act. I am broken But I constantly tell others ‘I am fine.’ I am broken But I laugh hysterically to prevent myself from crying. I am broken Because challenges I’ve been faced with made me this way. I am broken But “I am fine.” Bodyguard of the Night
By Jasmine Cari-Pergee 11/17 There you are Standing quietly, beautifully Up all night patrolling Unique Beyond any species Multi-colored Glazed bright Green eyes You are Independent Strong Capable Keeping The forest Safe always For your family A Home
by Gia Consiglio 10/17 I am glass Fragile and capable of shattering with the slightest touch They can see through me But do they hear what goes on inside? You are a center beam Strong and tough to get through With dry-wall and paint to cover and protect you You are my support Together we make a home Where we are strong, together, and forever safe I Write America
By Sophia Coppola I write America for the men and women and people rising above the voices of Americans whose choices are regarded as what is right when we for so long have put up a fight against the expectations, the path we are put on What is the American Dream? A job, a husband and family to rely on? The dream has changed for me and a hundred, a thousand others The dream has been redefined, realigned with the birth of a new generation We are breaking away, so close to truly free leading a revolution against what we are supposed to be Free to choose our path To love, to live with and without Americans whose dream we have pursued for so long in a fruitless attempt to fulfill what they want Who are they to say we’re wrong? It is time to greet this new America with open arms Leave behind all the harm you have caused left broken, battered, lost Realize your position Let it allow you to embrace this revolution Come together as a generation Now ask not who I write for, ask what I am a voice of our new nation I Write America
By Janiya Daniels I write America because America, you need to be better. The land of the free is no longer together. It gets worse by the day, more pain from each change. This land is no longer the land, the land of the great. Divided. Was that space ever filled? I don't think it was, with the amount of brothers and sisters that have been killed Acceptance Is your mind even open? Or are you too blind too see or too dumb to notice? Unity Why is there so much space between you and me? Why is this tension so hard to break free from? Free. Don't you see? This isn't how its supposed to be. America, we can all do this together. come back bigger, better than ever. There have been violence and riots. One moment we're loud, but the next minute we're silent. Break it. Let go of the chains, get out of society's sick twisted game. Trump, are you really making America great, or taking two steps back and keeping things the same? A Great Day
By Peter Hines There’s a real problem in America as we see the hatred and fire in the eyes of people who are scared of the advancement of a man with the skin that is dirty or impure and it makes us feel so unnatural, not human, not enough Much can be said about how much people fear us because all the hate is a psychological feeling The fear of becoming equal My momma told me that we gonna be Free At Last. Ah; it's gonna be a great day! My daddy told me a white man fears a man of color because we have potential to be something great That white America is soon gonna become dirty and become impure and nasty because people of color will soon have a say in our lives Ah, it's gonna be a great day! Would You Rather?
By Jamiah A. Green 10/17 Would you rather be full of greed And suffer great misery Or give as much as you can To make the world a better place? Would you rather have best friends That use you for what they want, Or have best friends That stay loyal no matter what? Would you rather give up on your hopes and dreams And never make it somewhere far in life Or step forward And become someone meaningful to the world? There is a choice in everything So never say you don’t have one Your decisions help make who you are And what you will turn out to be. |
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Clouds
By Adia Sakura-Lemessy 12/17 1 To gaze at clouds Through the lens Of a wistful child with bright eyes And a big imagination 2 To look at clouds With frightful anticipation As a storm approaches from afar 3 To watch the clouds From a perch With deep longing to touch them 4 To stare at clouds Pining for wings Wishing you could fly 5 To glare at clouds That took your sunny skies And ruined your day 6 To scrutinize clouds Looking for shapes In the white puffs 7 To glower at the cloud That hovers above your head And brings you despair 8 To take pleasure in clouds With pensive admiration And pure interest 9 To long for clouds On clear days To be your sunblock 10 To think about clouds And wonder if they Can take you from here 11 To ponder clouds And who lives up so high And how to get there 12 To consider clouds And if their gaze Is directed at you 13 To loathe clouds For being something You’ll never have. For Better
Eliza Vargas 12/17 I’ve spent most of my life apologizing for things that aren’t my fault. I allowed myself to fall for lies and half-truths. So I’ve decided to do better for myself. It hurt to have to cut off the toxic people, but it felt good to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. One thing that took me a while to understand was that, sometimes, it’s okay to let go...even if it’s painful. It hurts a lot to see where I’ve come from, but I am stronger and I am done apologizing for wanting better for myself. Everything Ends By Thomas Small 12/17 This sad young boy With hopes and dreams Will never live the life The life he needs Hurt so much He lives his life With so many scars He wants him dead To suffer unrelenting pain To hurt and terrorize his brain His own father Not a man The devil himself But he bleeds He cries for help Praying to the heavens He needs just one Just one answer As he beckons He hears a cry He opens his eyes And there she lies His own mother She says You must listen And only then we will be together I’m sorry son I wish I were there It's not your fault It's mine You must do what I couldn’t Then end your life Only then we will be with each other If this is what I must do Then so be it He grabs a knife Puts it under his pillow Two weeks pass He knew it would happen His father tries to do it again He's on his bed with his fingers tappin’ The boy is ready To do what must be done He grabs the knife Slits the devil's throat His father is no longer That's all she wrote He looks to the sky Dreaming of what's next Knowing that his next life will Be better than his last He actually does it Puts everything to an end. Where I Live
By Nadia Gaskins 11/17 There are one hundred bound pages that unlock as I mentally enter the unseen password releasing the concealed phrases. I like to sit within the lines of My Secret Holder in the dawn of foggy spring days and watch the enchantingly comforting words dance. The pages were a gift from my former pastor before I left my home. I had come and gone many times, never sure I would ever go back; it was suspected I wouldn't return alive. I have lived here in these stitched, carefully-counted pages for two very long years, although it has felt like only a couple of days. I have learned to speak without words, and run away from society without looking back time and time again. This book is a keeper of my feelings, the key to my barely-held-together heart, an escape from this holding place for us, a cruel prison called life. My share of the “American Dream” was not pleasant. My sanity lay three hundred thousand feet below a once-innocent face, hidden beneath the lies and secrets told by my closest friends, shattered by my deadly, sinful thoughts. Ink and paper collide causing a literary explosion, burning away the insults embedded in my soul. The back of this book is stained with the blood of a warrior too weak to fight back. Two years ago, I came across a lot of hardships; they were hard to endure, with razor-edged corners impossible to avoid and no visible support system. I didn’t expect to make it. Although there were prayers and words of wellness being spoken over me, it still didn’t make much of a difference. Things actually got worse. The reason I say this is because no matter how much I called on God or went to church, it felt like He didn't bother to respond. Over the past two years, I have learned that it isn’t easy to be yourself. People will hate you though knowing so little about you, as long as you live society will give you a box to check, that I know a lot more than I think, that love has no labels, and that my blood-stained book saved me. Take. Them. Back.
By Nadia Gaskins 11/17 I was NOT an average girl. I was NOT what everyone wanted me to be. I am still not I am an outcast. I never knew why people hated me. Do I even want to know? I feel like everyone is against me. Even though they say they love me. They care, they’ll never hurt me. (Scoffs) Liars. They hurt me. They didn’t care. They didn’t love me. They walked away when I needed them most. I WAS NOT AN AVERAGE GIRL! I WAS HURTING. I ALWAYS WORE A FAKE SMILE TO HIDE MY BROKEN HEART. I USED MY EYES, A DISGUISE, THAT WAS MY SECRET ART. I TOLD YOU I WASN’T OKAY. YET, YOU REFUSED TO SEE IT. SEE ME. Now the thoughts run through my head like wildfire. Spreading rapidly, Scorching my peace, Ruining my dreams, Holding my goals to a million flames. “Slut” “Lesbian” “Whore” “Worthless” “Useless” “Waste of space” “Disgrace” You shot me down. You stabbed me with your daggers. You carelessly threw these insults at me. Day after day. You tortured me. Is it true? Is it all true? Yes! No! Yes? No? Yes No. This is what you spit in my face. This is what you destroyed my life with. That hole in your face that opened wide, Revealing rows of missiles. Leaving me to lick my wounds. Laughing as I struggled to breathe. Strangling me with transparent hands. Kicking my shattered ribs. You don’t care that you hurt me. Do you? Do you care that you were the cause of my many self-inflicted wars? “No.” I thought not. You messed up. Truly you did. You disregarded everything that I said. Everything I did. I was covering up the pain. The hurt. The disappointment. You ignored me. You never sought out the truth. That was your fatal mistake. I refuse to slaughter myself with your sharp words. Take. Them. Back. Would It Be Any Different?
By Ioanis Torres YOUR baby is gone your BABY is gone your baby IS gone your baby is GONE At times I wonder… What it would've been like to have him here Would mom be any different? Mom That’s all I can think about when I hear about him. Sometimes I can imagine the little bundle of joy resting in her arms His little hands reaching over to grab onto her finger just to feel her warmth That’s what you feel when you’re near my mother, warmth I can almost hear his cries and his whimpering As he is taken away from what makes him feel safe. Sometimes I wonder… If he would have been born would my life be any different Would we be struggling more than we are now? Is he okay wherever he is? Is he up somewhere in the sky waiting for us to come find him? Waiting to feel the warmth that my mom provides him MOM you are so warm Mom YOU are so warm Mom you ARE so warm Mom you are SO warm Mom you are so WARM The Beginning of Tomorrow, Today
By Eliza Vargas 9/17 Yesterday two different stories mended so perfectly to make me, and yet I don’t even know them. Tomorrow you are one half of my story, but I am also one half of yours Be powerful, be ambitious, be great, but most importantly be YOU. Today I am not my body parts. I am not my race. I am not my intelligence. I am the beginning of a sentence that has yet to end. I am my past. I am my tomorrow. I am my present. What My Mama Taught Me
By Brookelyn Hazelwood 1) You were the depression My heart was not ready for. You didn’t care; that part was clear. I screamed my cry desperately But you acted like you could not hear. 2) Why did you overlook the hurt I was feeling on the inside? 3) I wanted to think you still loved me. No, I wanted to believe it. My trust in you has vanished Because you said you loved me But didn’t mean it. 4) The countless number of times you treated me badly Outweigh the good times. Remembrance of our happy moments almost makes me miss you. That process was too dreadful to go through again. 5) Forgiveness is what my mama taught me. But, I will never forget all the chaos you put me through. All the lies I told for you, All the sleepless nights I had. 6) I’ll never allow someone to take away my worth again. The best decision was blocking someone I did not realize Was so toxic out of my life. For good. 7) The purpose of this is to say, I loved you but you were too blind to see. You made me the girl I am today No, the strong and beautiful woman. 8) How does it feel to be forgotten By someone you never thought Would leave? Emulation of “The Healing Process” By Jailene Pellot |