OPINION
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"Tough Love"
Tyjon Benson (2/21) This goes out to a majority of the previous generations, who need to know that the way they were raised and taught might not always apply to the generations after them. We now live in a time where we focus on a little more of the people's emotionality and mentality than physicality. Though it seems many adults don’t recognize that. Many adults yell at their children, degrade them, threaten them, and overall knowingly or unknowingly emotionally abuse their children into a state of submission. Then those same parents wonder why their child doesn’t open up to them, and then cuts them off the moment they’re free from them. This is all because they stick to the old ways of parenting that they classify as “tough love,” which they are not. It’s straight abuse, and many children and young adults, especially those belonging to POC families, have been convinced it isn’t and that those that complain or stand up to it in a way are labeled “weak” or “soft.” Parenting overall needs to change and it is, just not as fast as it should. That’s because of those same people who stick too hard to the old ways of parenting. They shove that ideal of parenting into their own child's head, even to the point that those that do stand up and try to change it continue to get degraded and ridiculed by those that were convinced that the way they were parented, the way they were insulted and brought down by their parents, was again “tough love,” which it isn’t! Even if the older generations that held this ideal die off, it probably won’t speed up any change, because of what you can basically describe as downright brainwashing done to those that fell victim to it. The only thing we can do is suggest or hope that parents take into account their child’s physical, emotional, and mental needs equally to at least do something to raise healthier and happier children. That something is where the older generations don’t ignore one part of their child or the other, causing this loop of abuse to continue. My Life Matters By Thomas Small (11/20) Nothing that’s been occurring in America as of recently is the slightest bit surprising. No matter how much this country promotes equality and freedom for all, anyone can see this hasn’t been achieved. It’s nothing new. Yes, the ignorant love to say, “we aren’t in the past,” and “move on.” The truth of the matter is, how can you when these things are still occurring? No, there’s not a piece of legislature that literally states that “POC” (people of color) and, more specifically, “Black” lives do not matter, but this is how they are treated. Over this country's short lifespan, law enforcement has abused the Black community at every opportunity. After all, the first police department was formed when slavery was abolished. Before these men were called police officers, they were known as slave catchers; their jobs were to keep their towns safe from the large slave population. After that, southern states enforced Jim Crow laws and segregation. Once these laws were no longer in place, law enforcement participated in the war on drugs to further bring down the Black community. This systematic oppression doesn’t seem to stop. We are no longer in these times. The mistreatment in the past was more blatantly present, but only to those willing to acknowledge it. Ever since the Rodney King beating, one of the first recorded representations of police brutality, we have continuously seen videos of racially charged beatings and murders. How much more evidence can you get than a video? It should be impossible for anyone to ignore and deny these inequalities when they can see it happening with their own eyes. Of course, these videos don’t always matter in terms of the outcome of a case; at the end of the day, the jury has the last say. Has it gotten better? Has it gotten worse? If you want to look at how the United States government functions in terms of racial equity through a non-abstract lens, it’s gotten significantly better. No more slavery and no more segregation. If you look at the situation through an abstract lens it hasn't truly gotten better. In the past, the country used laws to oppress. Now, there are no written rules that state this oppression. Instead, the government they bends the rules that can be used to make this country's political and social landscape much less like more like the calm rolling hills of a golf course rather than the humid, muddy swamps of the Everglades. As a result, my parents were given an additional responsibility, not just to raise me into a man, but to raise me into a Black man. My parents have always made me aware that there are people in the world who instantly view you as a lesser person because of your skin color. They taught me how to analyze a situation and realize when someone in power is abusing this power and how to respond. They instilled lots of wisdom about situations that will occur strictly due to my complexion. They knew I’d never have run-ins with the police because of my own doing, but despite this, they properly trained me on how to respond and respectfully do as police officers say, just so that I can return home to them safely. No matter what any Black person, White person, Democrat, or Republican says, there are clear inequalities that POC and, more specifically, Black people face that white people don’t have to. For us, we are assumed guilty until proven innocent. I could write a piece with no end if I tried to point out each inequality, but I have grown tired. Tired of the oppression, tired of the blatant apathy, and tired of the lies. I refuse to be the passenger on what feels like an endless ride to the destination everyone will eventually reach. I will take the wheel, make each stop I feel is worth my time, and if there’s an obstacle on the road, I will reroute instead of pulling over. I won’t allow obstacles society puts in my way to hinder my journey’s experience. |
People Deserve Better Than Perfect
Senior Thesis by Gabriel Guadalupe (6/21) Everyone knows a child who misbehaves in the face of their guardian or caretaker. Unfortunately, I was a lot more unruly than other children my age. I would never pay attention to what we were learning, always bothered other kids for really no reason, and become extremely hostile if anyone tried to stop me. So in order to fix my behavior, I was put through a program with a lot of social workers and isolated work spaces. They were a lot more hands on than my normal teachers; if I was nice and cooperative they would be my best friends. If I was mean and unresponsive they wouldn’t tolerate my actions at all. I would have days where everyone completely ignored me or trapped me in a spot where I couldn’t do anything until I listened. Slowly, but surely, their methods began to work and I was able to perform well in a classroom environment without someone constantly looking over my shoulder. I am very grateful to my parents and the teachers who put me through that. I’m a great student who’s loved by many peers and educators who happen to come across me. However, I can’t help but feel very nervous around others. I worry that one tiny mistake will cause everyone to ridicule me. I worry that if I’m not always extremely nice or helpful that things just won’t end up right. While very unintentional, this is the other half of what I learned as a child and now I’m a young adult who’s more quiet and reserved than I care to be. Many other children around the globe feel the pressure to never make a single mistake. This is what is known as perfectionism; while great in certain circumstances, the vast majority of perfectionism is toxic on various levels, leading to heavy mental and social damage. Now, many educators would say “I don’t tell kids to be perfect, I just tell them to work hard and better themselves”. While this may be very true, there are still so many kids and adults that are suffering from perfectionism in the world today. So I am here to make the very bold claim that the way we teach children to work hard and be a good member of society is flawed. There are better ways to get kids to make an effort, and that way is through art. As a shy person, I find it vastly easier and more enjoyable to express certain topics through less-direct means, like writing or comedy. Unlike a math equation or a law book, there is an art form for everyone in the world. You can neither fail or be perfect at art, which makes it a safe constructive activity to break perfectionism. Truth be told, the art you make probably does more good for everyone else; people decades after you pass away can look at what you made and relate to it. The only thing that holds us back is society's lack of value towards creativity that doesn’t make money. I’m lucky enough to go to a school and be part of a community that treasures art, but I know that’s not the case for many others out there. Change must happen, and it starts now. Wanting success is one of the most basic drives of human nature; we want to ultimately succeed or else our actions would have no meaning. So it doesn’t sound like perfectionism would be any trouble at all, but things aren't always what they seem. When a perfectionist fails, the whole world can feel like it’s ending. When a perfectionist achieves a goal, it can feel like nothing more than what is expected of them. Autnor Amy Morin states that “Perfectionism is a trifecta. You want yourself to be perfect, you want others to be perfect, you think that others want perfection from yourself”. Either way, there is honestly nothing more imperfect than perfection itself. Social connections and self-care routines suffer as you devote all your time to being perfect over anything else. Internally you feel high stress, depression, and the constant need to hide it all from the world. Children are most at risk from academic anxiety, low-self esteem, desire to please or emulate an older figure, and of course the influences from their parents or guardians. So the answer is simple: take it easy on kids and let them do whatever they want. Well, anyone can tell you why that’s not a good idea. Motivation and guidance are some things we often take for granted but they teach us the values of life. While a stressed child is not good, neither is a spoiled one. Katherine Kam says that “Kids can be the most rude, ungrateful, lazy, and self-absorbed people on the planet if they are not taught correctly. And the bad behavior continues, teenagers can have a serious lack of self-control when the moment arises”. Sadly, too much of our world is filled with people who never received much discipline or had a good role model growing up. Those people are often the cause of society's biggest problems. Compared to that, is making sure your kids know they don’t have to be perfect more important than making sure they are a good and responsible person? Yes and no. Kids will always need tough love but that’s not the problem; the problem is letting the tough love be all they know without any room for mistakes or improvement. There’s a line between being a parent and being a bully; even if that line is hard to draw, it's vital for a child’s mental and social development. That’s why we need to guide them through authority and let them explore through art. Art has been part of every culture in one way or another for more than a few millenniums. For millions around the earth, art is a form of profit, expression, freedom, and safety. That holds true just as much today as it did back then. Kids need art in their lives in order to realize that they don't have to be perfect. Sarah Kahne write that “There’s no such thing as perfect art”. No one can say there is a right way to paint a picture, or perform a dance. Infinite interpretations create a scenario where you can’t fail as long as you are happy with whatever comes. Now yes, getting a perfectionist kid to explore art isn’t easy, but there are subtle ways to get them to be more comfortable with the idea. Whenever a kid makes a drawing, you shouldn't ask what it is, you should ask how they made it. Rather than compliment what they did, you should ask them about what’s going on inside the picture. This way kids don’t feel like you're judging their work but that you're interested and you want to see what else they can do. And of course, you should never try to control what they make. The whole point is to get children to make what they want to make and to let them say what they want to say in a way they feel most comfortable saying it. That being said, art can definitely have a lot of negative connotations. I know there are a lot out there who don’t find enjoyment in painting or writing. And it’s easy to see why having artistic creation be a big part of school might turn a lot of students off of it, as they would an assignment or project. At the end of the day, some people out there are too stubborn to change their ways and give art a chance. Cristine Cruz says “Not everyone is ready for art, as art requires minds open for adaptation”. While I believe all of this to be true, I don’t fully agree with these sentiments. Art is a lot more than a grade point average or a hobby to keep you busy. Any form of meaningful expression or intricate communication is a valid form of art. A bicycle trick you made counts as art, the specific way you clean your room counts as art. You can’t contain art to a mainstream definition; there are almost as many ways to express yourself as there are people on earth. So is art for everyone? No. But that doesn’t mean there isn't art for everyone. Childhood is short yet important to our lives. We need to make sure that childhood is supportive and educational rather than misleading and destructive. That’s what I intend to do by writing this paper; that’s what I want to do by talking to you. We don’t have to let kids suffer from the endless pursuit of perfection. We can teach them to be creative learners that are allowed to have their own faults. To this day I’m still struggling with the acceptance of my own mistakes; it's hard to stop so I think maybe it’s better not to start at all. Without the pressure to be the best or anything like that, kids and teens can have an easier time finding out who they are and what they want to do in the world. That time is coming sooner than we think. My parents can often be pretty hard on my younger sister, and for good reason. Despite that, she told me herself that she doesn’t think anyone in the world should be perfect, not even her favorite cartoons, her current form of art. As a final piece of advice to anyone responsible for the care of a young one, patience is one of the most important values for a caretaker. Children will disobey you, and you will get angry at them. But children aren’t held to the same social standards as adults; that’s why they’re growing. Just remember all the things you were denied as a kid and keep that in mind when you are dealing with yours. Usually the first offense doesn't need punishment, just a stern warning. Remember that kids make mistakes and they don’t always do things to push your buttons. At the end of the day, people deserve better than perfect. We deserve to be happy. Work Cited Cruz, Cristine. “Art Is Not for Everyone.” I Was There, Blogsite, 12 Aug. 2014 Kahne , Sarah. “There's No Such Thing as Perfect Art.” ParentMap,Education/Elementary , 1 Feb. 2007 Kam, Katherine. “Are Your Children Spoiled Rotten? Fits, Tantrums, and Other Signs.” WebMD, WebMd, 5 May 2009 Morin, Amy. “What to Do When Your Child Is a Perfectionist.” Verywell Family, Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, 10 Jan. 2021 |
Still Going On
Thomas Small (12/20) Marvin Gaye released the album titled, “What’s Going On,” in 1971, now making this album almost 50 years old. This album was very different from many of his other albums. Gaye’s previous LP’s had different main themes. He started off making Doo-Wop and Pop music, but not this record. “What’s Going On” completely strayed from his normal; this record was focused on the troubling and tattered socio-political landscape the United States was experiencing in the early ’70s. During this time, we were in the Vietnam war for a grueling 15 years and there were an uproar of protests for different social groups such as members of the LGBTQ+ community, the Black community, and feminists. So, it’s safe to say that the country was at a great divide. Marvin Gaye decided to take on the hard task of addressing these social issues. Gaye opened this album with a song that just offered so much comfort, directly talking about war and how we must stick together. Of course, he wasn’t the first person or the only person to spread this message, especially at this time, but the way he expressed it was expertly beautiful. He offered amazing imagery in songs like “Save the Children,” and “Flying High.” He used up all 35 minutes of this album to portray a message; this message was that war wasn’t the answer and we must spread love. The sad truth is that the world is the same. Fifty years later, this country is dealing with the same issues. We still have a great divide. People are polarized and people are still losing their mothers, brothers, and sons due to the deathly grip Uncle Sam has around our necks. This country is currently experiencing a racial uprising like no other in our recent history; each state has had Black Lives matter protests. It’s beautiful to see something happening, but why now? Why not in 2014, when Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old Black boy, was murdered by police? Why not in 2009, when Oscar Grant, a 22-year-old Black man, was murdered by the police? Why not in 1991, when Rodney King, a 25-year-old Black man, was brutally beaten by the police? As a 17-year-old young man, I haven’t lived through a lot of the Black struggles outlined above, but as a Black man in America, I and my people do have to live with the struggle now and I don’t see an endpoint in sight. We have been sick and tired of the mistreatment we have been facing since we were enslaved hundreds of years ago. The ignorant thought that racism isn’t around anymore has plagued too many people. The truth is, in the past racism was legal, with segregation and Jim Crow allowing people to mistreat and dehumanize us. Nowadays, the laws have changed, but many people have not. Their prejudices are still intact and acts of discrimination is snatching away the freedoms and liberties we are promised in the Constitution. We are disgusted and refuse to keep living in a country where we are looked down on, when the brutal reality is that we built this country. Those who enslaved us treated us as animals for too long. We are strong people, we are willing people, and we are loving people. But we will never stop standing against any and all injustices we face because the sad truth is, it’s still going on. |
