Bedside Manner
A Script by Xzavea Bradley 10/19
Tara, in pajamas, rolls out of bed to smash the snooze button. As she reaches for the alarm she notices it isn’t there anymore. She gets up annoyed by the constant blare of the alarm to see an irritatingly bright smile in the doorway. Lisa walks in the bedroom, holding the alarm, as cheery as ever. Tara gags in disgust.
Tara
Jeez.
Lisa
Y’know this is my bedroom right.
Tara
Can’t go to mine.
Lisa
Not when you’re angry. Hard to see your door when all you see is red.
Lisa reaches over Tara and pulls a blunt out of her night table. Fumbling her hand around in her miscellaneous drawer of junk, she finds a lighter.
Tara
Very funny. I stormed out again.
Lisa
He’s probably as tired of you as you are right now.
Tara
It’s not about me! He thinks I’m insecure. If I say “My stomach is chubby” he’ll say “Then eat less”. Y’know, the whole “act like he doesn’t care until I leave him alone” routine.
Lisa
Sounds familiar. So what? You blocked him huh?
Tara
Girl, I’m not finished. He told me “You’re beautiful normally, you’re just bloated.” I go, “Normally? So am I not beautiful now?”
Lisa
Then what?
Tara
He tells me to calm down. WHAT!?
Lisa
You blocked his email too, didn’t you?
Tara
Of course Lisa.
Lisa
That’s crazy!! You guys have been together for ages! I guess everyone needs a-
Tara
Bryan!Bryan!Bryan!
Lisa squeezes the illuminated end of her joint, quickly puts it in her pocket and sits at the foot of the bed. Tara tries to straighten up her appearance as if to prove a point.
Bryan
Seriously?
Tara and Lisa (in unison)
Seriously what?
Bryan
You guys get worse and worse at covering for yourselves. C’mon.
They both stand up and go over.
Bryan
I’m tired of y’all! Everytime y’all are both here at the same time, you manage to embarrass me. Tara, you legit look like yesterday, which is not a compliment. And Lisa? Which one?
Lisa
Right rear.
Bryan reaches his hand in Lisas back pocket to find no blunt. Bryan’s friend walks by as he was creeping his hand in Lisa’s pocket. They freeze.
Bryan
OH- Uh.. It- it’s not wh-
Awkward pause
Lisa
You can take you hand out now.
Bryan’s friend
Well, I’ll Uh.. Let you three handle that.
He, making a very awkward face, walks away.
Tara
What was that about embarrassing you?
Bryan
I hope you two grow up someday.
This is a mirror emulation of Pablo Sanchez-Levallois’ “At your convenience”
A Script by Xzavea Bradley 10/19
Tara, in pajamas, rolls out of bed to smash the snooze button. As she reaches for the alarm she notices it isn’t there anymore. She gets up annoyed by the constant blare of the alarm to see an irritatingly bright smile in the doorway. Lisa walks in the bedroom, holding the alarm, as cheery as ever. Tara gags in disgust.
Tara
Jeez.
Lisa
Y’know this is my bedroom right.
Tara
Can’t go to mine.
Lisa
Not when you’re angry. Hard to see your door when all you see is red.
Lisa reaches over Tara and pulls a blunt out of her night table. Fumbling her hand around in her miscellaneous drawer of junk, she finds a lighter.
Tara
Very funny. I stormed out again.
Lisa
He’s probably as tired of you as you are right now.
Tara
It’s not about me! He thinks I’m insecure. If I say “My stomach is chubby” he’ll say “Then eat less”. Y’know, the whole “act like he doesn’t care until I leave him alone” routine.
Lisa
Sounds familiar. So what? You blocked him huh?
Tara
Girl, I’m not finished. He told me “You’re beautiful normally, you’re just bloated.” I go, “Normally? So am I not beautiful now?”
Lisa
Then what?
Tara
He tells me to calm down. WHAT!?
Lisa
You blocked his email too, didn’t you?
Tara
Of course Lisa.
Lisa
That’s crazy!! You guys have been together for ages! I guess everyone needs a-
Tara
Bryan!Bryan!Bryan!
Lisa squeezes the illuminated end of her joint, quickly puts it in her pocket and sits at the foot of the bed. Tara tries to straighten up her appearance as if to prove a point.
Bryan
Seriously?
Tara and Lisa (in unison)
Seriously what?
Bryan
You guys get worse and worse at covering for yourselves. C’mon.
They both stand up and go over.
Bryan
I’m tired of y’all! Everytime y’all are both here at the same time, you manage to embarrass me. Tara, you legit look like yesterday, which is not a compliment. And Lisa? Which one?
Lisa
Right rear.
Bryan reaches his hand in Lisas back pocket to find no blunt. Bryan’s friend walks by as he was creeping his hand in Lisa’s pocket. They freeze.
Bryan
OH- Uh.. It- it’s not wh-
Awkward pause
Lisa
You can take you hand out now.
Bryan’s friend
Well, I’ll Uh.. Let you three handle that.
He, making a very awkward face, walks away.
Tara
What was that about embarrassing you?
Bryan
I hope you two grow up someday.
This is a mirror emulation of Pablo Sanchez-Levallois’ “At your convenience”